Letter Problems
As you read the ineffective job application cover letter below, note these problems you will want to avoid:
- The letter comes across as repetitive and generic.
- The writer uses “Mrs.” which assumes that the employer is married. The term “Ms.” is best when you don’t know the marital status of a female employer.
- The writer says he is a hard worker and great team player, but never offers any proof of these claims. He needs to talk about his work experiences.
- The writer says he was impressed by the Chamber Motor Company summer program, but never says why.
- The writer says Chamber Motor Company is his top choice, but never explains why (indicating he has not done any research about the company).
- The writer misspells the word “automotive.”
- The writer doesn’t give his area code or an email address.
Ineffective Job Application Cover Letter
Joe L. Smith
100 Langdon
Madison, WI 53703
January 20, 2004
Mrs. Jane Employer
Technical Recruiter
Chamber Motor Company
Madison, WI 53703
Dear Mrs. Employer:
I am a Mechanical Engineering student at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and I am interested in summer employment with Chamber Motor Company. I am a hard worker and a great team player. My strong interest in Chamber Motor Company lead me to apply to you for summer employment.
Recently, I spoke with Joe Smith, a Chamber Motor Company summer intern, and was very impressed with the quality engineering summer program at Chamber Motor Company. I believe I can meet the high expectations Chamber Motor Company has for its summer interns.
My interest in the automtive industry began in my childhood as I assisted my father in caring for his model car collection. Since then, I have worked as an auto mechanic. My goal is to apply my engineering skills in the automotive industry. Chamber Motor Company has long been my top choice.
I am enclosing my resume for your review. Please forward application materials to me. I will call you in two weeks to check on the status of my application. If you prefer to call me, my phone is 222-1112, and I can be reached before 10:00 a.m. and after 4:00 p.m. I am very interested in Chamber Motor Company.
Sincerely,
Joe L. Smith